Saturday, October 29, 2016

No Red Queen today and freebie

Not channeling the Red Queen today. I read somewhere that "anger is the guardian of depression." Guardian? What is that supposed to mean? Tried to find the quote but couldn't. Maybe someone thinks that getting irritable and angry keeps depression at bay, sort of choose one over the other. No maybe the person meant to say, "anger is a precursor to depression." Now that is often true. It's a known symptom and I knew what was happening, I was slipping under the black waters. That's how I visualize my depressive episodes. Churchill used to refer to his as being bit by the black dog and William Styron (whom I was fortunate enough to meet) referred to his as "Darkness Visible" which is also the title of his book about his own battle with the disorder. I am treading water with my head above the surface today, thank you. Sorry about yesterday's tirade. I realized that with everything being so chaotic recently I had missed a number of days of my meds (for diabetes, reflux etc as well as depression). Part of why I was beginning to drown. Today I stayed in and only concerned myself with making beef stew - a nice, nutritious fall comfort food. My husband and I had talked about going to see Inferno but he wasn't feeling well so we put that off. Knowing I need a break, he took dinner to Dad (of course, Dad won't eat beef stew which would be good for him).

I do want to thank Kristy for her words of concern and the useful link about caregivers. Even with my husband's help, it's been a little overwhelming being at Dad's beck and call every day. He needs help and I've been feeling guilty about not doing more. But the truth is, I can't take care of all my own stuff. I have limitations. Don't like it, but it is true and no point denying it. And I need some time that is just mine. Sounds selfish, doesn't it? But we all need time that is our own, free of demands from others. Anyway, I've given myself an attitude adjustment and forgiven my ineptitude. I've played a game while the stew cooked. Maybe this evening while hubby watches the World Series, I'll find a little energy to do some of the laundry that has piled up. Then I will be able to say I've accomplished something useful today without wearing myself out.

But now, for something more cheerful, a freebie!
That frame in today's zip is small. My thought is to use it to frame a title, sentiment, or date. Larger frames will follow. I've got lots of art deco coming. I've got 17 folders so far.

Oh, we are listening to Lewis Black on YouTube. If you can get past his language, he is a riot. Love the one about Bottled Water. Husband pulled it up and has me laughing. Now that is a good thing. Hugs.

No comments: