Saturday, May 13, 2017

Thank you!

Dear Kristi and Carlyn,

Your messages made my day! It's been a dreary day here. We've had rain several days now and temps dropped down into 50s. I was supposed to get up at 7:00a.m. and go with my husband to grandson Tyler's church for an indoor bake sale and rummage sale. Got up, wandered into kitchen and I decided I needed sleep more. Pain level and mental agitation have been up all week. I slept in until after one o'clock! My husband had gone on without me and came home with a pile of goodies, having spent under $20! He'd gone looking for DVDs to give to granddaughter Larkin on her upcoming birthday to go with the portable DVD player we got her. He found about 8 child friendly movies, a retired Precious Moments Christmas figurine (with original sticker price of $55 & new in box) for $2, and a tiny bisque Goebbels angel for 25 cents.

I'd just come in to play a few hands of solitaire when the phone rang and the day got darker. The daughter of one of my husband's former co-workers was calling to say that her mother, a sweet lady we both have affection for,is home under hospice care for end stage pancreatic cancer. Mother and daughter are very close, daughter has some severe health issues of her own, and now she is facing her mother's death with relatives who seem to think she isn't doing enough for her mother. We know she is doing as her mother wishes and I feel so bad for the daughter having the added stress of those relatives. Went through the same thing when my mother was dying. Dad and I abided by her wishes in the living will but her sister basically accused us of hastening her death by not taking more extreme measures - measures we knew Mom did not want. The death of a family member is always difficult but there always seems to be someone who refuses to believe your actions on that person's behalf are correct and adds to your pain.

At this point, let me say to Kristi that I am so very sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis. My father-in-law had this problem too only the Navy doctors kept telling him he had bursitis in the hip. When he was finally diagnosed correctly, he went to the Naval hospital and died next day. He was only in his mid fifties at that time. Be assured that I will remember you and your family in my prayers. May God have mercy and be gentle with your father as He calls him home.

Tonight my husband's retiree friends are having their monthly dinner meeting. He wanted me to go with him but in addition to all the discussion of old times at the company, John will need to tell everyone the news about Linda and urge anyone to wants to see her to visit in the next week. I wimped out and didn't go with him. Too depressing to think about so I opted for some quiet time to myself. Of course, I will go with him to visit after Mother's Day and offer Linda's daughter whatever help I can. Reminded me that I also need to make an appointment to set up a pre-paid funeral for my father this coming week. That will be one of the pay-down actions before filing for Medcaid and will also make things easier for me and Thom when dad does pass on.

I am so dreading moving Dad to the nursing home! And the conditions there, with semi private room etc. will make visits that much more difficult. But I spoke at length with my SIL last night. she has been through this with both of her parents and understands how hard it is. She assured me I was doing the right thing. My brother is still doing PT for his balance problem and when I told SIL what dad was diagnosed with, she made notes to discuss with Thom's doctor. Could he have the same problem? He continues to have a frontal headache that never goes below 5 on a pain scale of 1-10. Docs say it may always be there but they are giving him a weekly injection of some sort that is hoped will help. SIL says the injections end 5/31 and they hope to come back to Virginia the first part of June to see Dad and give John and I some time to ourselves.

The only other bit of news I have is good news. Tyler will be graduating form high school soon and has been accepted to the University of South Carolina where one of his friends will be his roommate.
The photo on left is Tyler with sister, Inara. I don't care for thescruffy beard. On right is Tyler without facial hair. Much better, I think.

Off to enjoy some left-over homemade manicotti (hubby is such a good cook!) After will be a little picking up as the house desperately needs it. Might get in a few minutes PS play time too.


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