D'Ambrosio Arts (formerly Ambrosia Arts Of Virginia)

First zip of papers today. Only one preview for both zips.

Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/j36vs7nwf1uomrq/ws_Wine%26Roses_ppr1.zip?dl=0

For ongoing news of the situation here, see below. Most of you will probably prefer to skip the family drama, and I don't blame you. I do need to vent though, and you all have been so supportive. Thank you.

Whenever I experience intense emotions I almost invariabley cry. It's not just sorrow or anger but even intense joy. I so dislike this! So yesterday evening when my brother called, I tried my best to be calm and level when I answered the phone. "Are you upset with me?" he asked. I took a deep breath and told him I certainly was. That it was a lot of built up little things but the last straw had been him insulting me following visit to attorney. What could I mean? I said he'd inferred I was a racist. Of course, he replied he'd never said that. No, he hadn't used the word, "racist" but he might as well have and I told him what he'd said. You see, after the funeral when some of us were talking I'd mentioned an odd dream I'd had in which a black man with dread locks was roaming around my back yard and he took offense. Told me, "I have a black son." Yes, he does, a man he adopted as a baby after fostering him through Catholic Family Services. I asked him if he'd still be offended if I'd said there was a strange white man with a red beard roaming around my backyard, because the word "black" in my comment was just an adjective and nothing more. The point was the man in my dream did not belong in my backyard. Well he doesn't like it, he tells me and he has a right to state what he feels. Sure, I agree, but his tone and expression . . . I told him whether he likes it or not, people are still described as black or white, however inadequate that may be. And those dark skinned people of Afro_American descent I know do not object to being called "black." What they do dislike, I informed him, is when they are referred to, in describing the color of their skin, in food terms - like coffee, cinnamon, chocolate. Personally, if I were not "white" but "black," I wouldn't mind someone describing me as having milk chocolate skin. Chocolate is pretty universally loved. Anyway, I went on to tell him that he had acted judgemental and he doesn't know how I live my life. If he did, he'd know that I personally believe "race" is a social construct to explain obvious differences in appearance - a construct that has done more harm than good. Now, ethnicity, is another matter as it refers to a culture in which one is raised.

And then I proceeded to tell my brother how he keeps changing his mind about things, and had talked me out of having an estate sale. How he said he didn't have time to go through all of Dad's tools but would take them to Florida to sort out, keep some things he wanted, then sell the rest to help with Dad's care. He hasn't sold anything that I know of and I suggested that now that Dad is gone, he won't. He says he is going to use them. He had also taken Mom's pearls and diamond 50th anniversary ring, saying he would get them appraised and sell them but hasn't done so.

Went on to remind him how when we needed to put the house up for sale because of Medicaid application, he and his wife said they were going to clean out the house to help me. But now, he'd said he should be compensated because I'd have had to pay someone to do it. No, my neice and her sorority were going to help me when it came to that. And bear in mind that he and his wife didn't have the expense of a hotel as they stayed at the house during their visits. And wasn't all the loot he'd collected compensation enough? He acted shocked, saying he knows he asked me several times if it was alright that he have thus and so. To some extent yes. I told him, early in the conversation, that I feel he has mistaken my kindness [read that bending over backwards] for weakness and warned that is a bad assumption to make. I also informed him that living out of state, Virginia does not recognize him as executor, only me, letting him know I have ultimate authority. Then, to forestall it coming up later, I informed him that if he is fielding calls about selling the house, and just having me show it, with the thought that he will get a real estate commission, that will not be happening. Oh no, he claimed, saying he thought it would relieve me of some stress. Thom did apologize for hurting me and swore he loves me. I'm ashamed to say, I still have my doubts. I do love my brother but it's mostly based on early, happier memories, not because he's bothered to stay in touch over the years, in fact was resistant to do so for some time. I do however, not love all of his behavior and made the suggestion that he needs to widen his perspective as he seems to be holding a lot of anger and hatred inside. He didn't deny this but says it is not directed towards me. So, I'll go show the house Thursday and as for Thom, I'll pray he learns to release the anger and hatred before it eats him up, and choose love instead.