Update on my father

Doesn't look like I'll be doing any design and posting this week. Got call early yesterday from Nurse practitioner at nursing home. The blood work done at the hospital came back. They had taken 4 vials of blood for testing and two showed bacteria. One might be a mistake - contamination of some sort but two, no. No idea of where the bacterial infection is and to learn more would require more testing. Considering all the other signs and symptoms, it is likely Dad is going into sepsis and does not have long to live.

I called my brother to let him know and he seemed okay with what is being done except for some worries about oain. Not long after my SIL called, and while I believe she meant well, upset me. She talked about her experience with her mother and needing to put Dad in hospice and how once he was in that everything would be paid for etc. Last week I was told he didn't qualify for hospice and I said I wasn't sure of what the qualifications are and wondered if he would met them since there is no specific diagnosis and nothing to say he has less than six months to live (the only part of qualifications I was aware of). She was pretty insistent that I needed to find out (this was around 4pm) and needed to move Dad somewhere where everything was paid for. Towards the end of the conversation I was confused and upset and felt there was too much emphasis on getting free care.

After I got away from SIL, I called social worker at nursing home. She had been in to check on Dad in the morning and with her 20 yrs experience said it was definitely a downward spiral and likely to be quick. I asked her about hospice and she said at this point he does qualify. I told her what SIL had related and she responded by saying that all hospice in Virginia is now done out of nursing home centers. Hopsice staff comes in and works with social worker and nursing at home. Hospice is in charge during the day and nursing at home during night. No insurance will pay for room and board, just nursing care and meds. She offered to talk to my brother.

So I called them back. Never got a chance to say they could call social worker. Explained what I'd been told. They were both on speaker and said that wasn't right, that Sentara (a big hospital and healthcare company here) has a special hospice center out in Virginia Beach. I should . . . .I kind of lost it a little and told them that if expense is the concern, Sentara room and board is probably going to be more expensive, and I don't care how much of Dad's money I spend on his care, just think staff where he is knows him and it's all familiar to him. Oh no, they said. They think since one nurse made an error, he isn't getting good care and are sure it is going to be so much better somewhere else. Since I was riled up, they said they would call and check on that hospice center and get back to me. I agreed, telling them I was strung out at this point. No word yet.

Here is what I've decided. My brother can't get his pump refilled until 4pm today. They don't have a flight yet and said something about Friday. So if I don't hear from them before I head over to nursing home in early afternoon (won't have transportation until then) and they don't have some momentous plan that is going to be an improvement and quickly done, then I'm making a decision. And my decision is to call in hospice right where he is because those people seem to care about him and I don't want to wait to have his pain managed. If my brother doesn't like my decision, oh well. I'm the one here who's had to deal with everything. Once they do get here, I don't think there will be any reason to do something different if Dad is still lingering.

Just needed to get this out and also let you know I will be back with goodies for you. Just don't know when.

Hugs,
SherryD