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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Gratitude

It's a busy season for most of us what with holidays to prepare for. Here at my house all is in chaos. Dear hubby's back is out again, he's frustrated by his disability, barely making it through the work day, and depressed.

I'm trying to remain calm and remember that somehow all is unfolding as it ought even though it feels like things are unraveling. Tuesday started with a bang - literally - as hubby reached inside the fridge to get something and the big plastic canister of coffee hit the floor, spilling out about half. He yelled for me to help as he is not able to bend. This was at about 3:30 a.m. and he was cranky with pain and mean as a bear! While I tried to sweep up the mess, he complained about the waste and how ridiculous it is that there are only two of us here but the fridge was so full he couldn't pull one thing out without a disaster. It was packed because I'd gone to Costco Monday afternoon and had been too exhausted to package up the meats and put in the freezer. I buy meats and canned goods there in bulk so I don't have to shop so often. He was disproportionally upset over the incident and went into the alls wrong with the world mode people tend to get into when over-stressed. Won't go any further with that except to say I was then too upset to sleep once he left for work.

Next I realized that I was getting another outbreak of shingles. Now that's just jolly. Took my anti-viral medication and tried to get some sleep but I had a biopsy done the week before, removing a suddenly suspicious mole on my breast and the area was somewhat inflammed and sore so I couldn't get comfortable. Finally, I got up, brought a cup of coffee back to bed and sat there consciously making an effort to turn these seeemingly bad things around. I realized that it's fortunate that I'm not having much fibro pain right now so I'm better able to help John. And while the mess this morning was inconvenient, we're fortunate because we can afford to buy more coffee; I know some people whose budgets are stretched so thin, such an accident would have been more important. Aren't we lucky I could stock all those groceries that had the fridge filled. As for the shingles, well, I caught it early at just the tingling, itchy point - only one small bump - and I'm lucky to have the anti-viral on hand. When I called my doctor about the biopsy site, I was told to come in that afternoon. It's not infected, just healing slow. It was treated and while that was painful, I came away assured there was no problem and prepared with an ointment and bandages to promote faster healing. And when I got home from the doctor, I got an apology from hubby.

It's far too easy to dwell on what's wrong when a lot is going on and we start feeling overwhelmed. I'm making an effort to stop myself and focus on what is right with my world. Gratitude is a beautiful thing!

During all the hustle and bustle that accompanies the holiday season, I think it would do us all good to make a point everyday of thinking about at least three things we are grateful for. What are you grateful for today?

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